By: Derek “Hotel” Hottell

I am an avid college football fan, and as those who have listened to the show previously can attest, a fairly rabid University of Louisville supporter, so I will admit that I am certainly biased. But, I completely and utterly hate instant replay. While it does enable the referees to correct some missed and/or mistaken calls, instant replay just as often enables officials to over officiate.

A recent example can be taken from the Friday, November 14, 2008, University of Louisville football game against the University of Cincinnati. With under four minutes in the fourth quarter, Louisville trailed by eight points, but they were driving down the field. On third down, Louisville quarterback Hunter Cantwell completed a pass in the flats to running back Brock Bolin who was immediately tackled by a Cincinnati defender. The initial ruling on the field was that the ball had crossed the threshold for the first down when Bolin’s forward progress was stopped. Louisville fans cheered, and hope still existed in Mudville, but then the most dreaded words in football were heard, “Play Under Review.”

When you hear those words, and you are a college football fan, you should just be prepared to be screwed because that is what is going to happen. So, of course, upon further review the play was not ruled a first down, and the officials actually spotted the ball a full yard back, which wasn’t even a possibility, but I digress.

Here is my primary issue with the situation, and what this situation brings to light. Instant replay is a crutch that officials more often than not misuse.

First, what is reviewable and why? If on the same play being reviewed for the spot of the ball, the official sees that the defender actually committed a facemask. Do they call the face mask? Well, of course not because that is judgment. But, isn’t the spot of the ball judgment as well.

Second, the instant replay has changed the way referees call the game. Now, if there is a questionable circumstance between if a quarterback fumbled or threw an incomplete pass, it is always a fumble because they know they can just review it. That doesn’t seem so bad, though, right? Wrong! Because it takes conclusive evidence to overturn the call. What if this evidence isn’t available because of a camera angle or a player blocking the view of the play? They haven’t solved the problem. They have just shifted responsibility from an individual who is paid to ensure the rules of the game are followed to the camera man, a fat guy who probably didn’t play football because he was in the audiovisual club.

Ultimately, instant replay doesn’t aid referees in calling the game. It just acts as an impediment or a crutch. And, as a U of L fan, it seems like it is a crutch that always hits me squarely in the balls.

Every year in NCAA Football we kick arond the term “Cinderellas,” or “BCS Busters.”  This is a term reserved for an undfeated, non BCS confernce team that crashes the BCS party.  Hawaii did it last year, Boise St. the year before that, and Utah a few years before them.  However in the history of the BCS we’ve never come close to the possibility of not one, but two glass slippers being sent out to an attractive underdog, with so many ugly stepsisters on the schedule.  Could this be the year?

Most would agree last season was the craziest season thus far under the BCS. It seemed as if no team was truly preared to step up, and lay claim to their right to play for a national championship (W. Virginia, Oklahoma, Oregon, Mizzou,). It was the first time we saw a two-loss team in the championship game, playing a team that most felt didnt belong.  And while even the most well tanned of PAC 10 fans would conceed LSU had one of the most talented teams in the country, did they deserve to be there following a regular season ending loss at home to an unranked team?  Hmmm?  Mizzou beat Kansas, lost in the Big 12 Championship (a game Kansas did not make) however it was Chase Daniel and the Tigers peaking through the window at the Prince’s ball, while the Jayhawks danced about with yet another undeserving ACC winch.  “Ring, Ring.  Hello WAC?  This is the ACC, we are sending you our automatic BCS bid via Fed Ex, and just wanted to provide you with the tracking number.” 

With this in mind let’s return to our fairy tale before the clock strikes midnight, and our carriage turns back into a pumpkin (or a Va Tech QB whichever is worse).  On the heels of last years craziness, the 2008 season will not be outdone.  I am of the opinion (of course my opinion, a turd wrapped in xmas paper, and a quarter combined are worth 25 cents) that the Big 12 and SEC are the two premier conferences this year hands down.  USC is a title contender, Penn St. can control their destiny, and the ACC and Big East should consolidate into one conference and have their two best teams play in a game dubbed “The Shit Bowl” to be played at a high school field in Arkansas at noon on a random Tuesday.   I see Oklahoma and Mizzou having no more then a loss a piece with one team winning the Big 12 Championship.  The winner of Georgia vs Florida will play the winner of LSU vs Bama in the SEC championship game, the winner of this game heads off to Miami for a National Title game versus the Big 12 winner.  Penn St. and Ohio St. will finish atop the Big Ten, with the winner of that game (probably Ohio St, given Penn St. will lose half their team to the Pennsylvania State Corrections Flag Footbal Team before the game is even played) laying claim to the title and a Rose Bowl bashing at the hands of USC.  The two teams that lose in the Big 12 and SEC Championship games will be top billing for an at large, paving the way for the stars of this Fair Tale to align. Ladies and gentelmen may I introduce your BYU “Cougars” and Boise St. “Fighting Statue of Liberties,” coming in undfeated if they can get past Fresno St. and Utah respectively, and marking 2008 the year of the two headed princess! 

Let me bottom line this for you:
1)Championship game (SEC #1 vs Big 12 #1)
2)Orange Bowl aka “Shit Bowl” (ACC #1 vs Big East #1)
3)Rose Bowl (PAC 10 #1 vs Big Ten #1)
4)Sugar Bowl (Sec #2 vs Cinderella #1)
5)Fiest Bowl (Big 12 #2 vs Cinderella #2)

Now I realize this isn’t the ending we all anticipated, but trust me, a two headed princess is a lot cooler than one in so many ways!!
Until Next Time,

Stay Dirty!

BP

As a long time Colts fan that can remember the days of an empty RCA Dome, a starting QB named Jeff George, and a dropped Hail-Mary in the1995 AFC Champion game, it’s hard to find much to be picky about these days.

The Super Bowl Victory over the Bears following the 2006 NFL season was a long time coming, and in many ways an end to a journey that began years ago following a late night truck ride from Baltimore to Indianapolis. The Irony behind the victory on that rainy night in Miami is that most ‘true-blue’ Colts Fans probably weren’t dancing in the streets and celebrating their firm grasp of the elusive Lombardi trophy, but rather, like myself, sat isolated in their homes taking deep, deep sighs of relief (up and until the parade of course), and thinking “Finally!” You see with success comes expectations, and even most Jaguar Fans would have to admit the Colts have been an extremely successful franchise since Peyton Manning’s arrival in Indianapolis following the1997 draft.

Since then the Colts have only missed the playoffs twice (once in his rookie year 3-13), and are 63-17 since 2003 reeling off five straight seasons of 12 wins or more, a rarity in today’s NFL. But as the Colts continued to put tally’s in the ‘W’ column, and Peyton and the Colts high powered offense were putting points on the scoreboard, Colt’s critics (and there were plenty) kept reminding Colt’s Fans, “What have you done in the Playoffs,” and labeled the team as “soft.” Progressing a once lonely NFL franchise in a small market, (who’s previous success and history was left behind in Baltimore), to one of the dominant teams in the NFL was no longer an accomplishment. With success comes expectations.

You could almost see it coming like a small snowball, which rolls down a hill, picking up steam, before finally becoming a thundering avalanche tearing through a small village. When will the Colts make the playoffs? When will the Colts win a playoff game? When will the Colts beat the Patriots and make it to a Super Bowl? Not to mention the constant harassment from fans of opposing teams in our division (Ten and Jax most notably) constantly reminding Colts fans how ‘Overrated,’ we were. Can you imagine the legacy left on the table if all of the turn around and all of the hype during Peyton’s tenure came to an end without a Super Bowl win? Not just an appearance (which in 1995 would have been unimaginable and welcome) but a win?

Thankfully much like the Cuban Missile Crisis before it, all of this was avoided at the conclusion of Super XLI in Miami when the scoreboard read, Colts 29 Bears 17. Our time had come, if only for one night our critics would be silenced, and our Colts were the World Champions. No doubt an exciting time for a Colts fan, but instead of dancing in the streets and pointing fingers towards Nashville and Jacksonville, I sat in my rocking chair like a man 40 years my elder, looked at my wife and said, finally!

To me waiver priority is like bumper bowling, it is simply an added bonus to assist the less talented in feeling better about themselves, and the world in which they live.  When the reality is everyone else in lanes 1-20 are laughing at you.  The last time I checked we weren’t playing middle school soccer here folks (or really any soccer for that matter).  This is fantasy football, the home of high scores, raw meat, and all the testosterone one man could stand.  We are here to win games, trophies, and end of the year Bar-B-Q, not friends.  I am of the firm opinion that if you have the foresight to jump on a free agent prior to someone else in the league, that FA should be yours.  Why should fantasy lightweights be rewarded for their laziness and mediocrity?  Essentially if you hold the top waiver spot for a given week you can sit on your toosh, pay your league no attention, then pick up FA’s based on what you read on somestupidfantasysite.com the next morning.  This is complete anarchy, and indefensible! I mean what is next a fantasy salary cap?  So I challenge you do the right thing and eliminate wavier priority, the integrity of your league depends on it!

Until Next Time Stay Dirty!

BPhillips

These are the 10 Question I would like to ask Mario Lopez, formerly AC Slater on Saved by the Bell!

1) Do you think Slater called Jessi Mama because of the lack of a mother figure in his life, and as a result he viewed his close relationship with a female (Jessi) similar to that of a mother/son relationship? And if so isn’t that kind of like incest, and given you got to hook up with Elizabeth Berkley did you even care?

2) How many tank-tops, and spandex under shirts did Slater own exactly, and do you still wear stone washed jeans with black dress shoes?

3) Where there ever any topics that Saved by the Bell talked about dealing with but decided to hold off because of their time slot (Saturday Morning TV)? ie Perhpas a 3-way between Zach, Screech and Kelly following a night of heavy drinking? Or one of the main characters developing a drug dependancy other then sleeping spills, such as Zach on Blow, Slater on HGH, or Lisa on weed?

4) Were you surprised that of all people Screech was the first one to do release a sex tape?

5) Were there any other high schools in California at that time, or were Bayside and Valley just locked in every state final, of every sport?

6) Did the SBTB Gang ever arrive at the Max only to find someone else setting at their table in the back, proceed to beat the living shit out of them then proclaim the max to be “Our House!”

7) Did you ever want to do Mrs. Morris (she was hot)

8 ) Do you find that people recognize you less with out your perm, and could you take Mr. Kotter in a fight to the death to see who has the best Perm in TV?

9) Did Zach ever “Cell Whip” anyone with his brick sized cell phone, and do you have any idea what service he used? Did they have the network?

10) Did you ever go watch Showgirls, and during the sex scene in the pool stand up and scream “Yea Mama, I hit that!
Until Next Time

Stay Dirty!

BPhillips

What is worse telemarketers or “Middle of the Mall,” people? I say “Middle of the Mall,” people for they can actually seek you out, like a wild lion looking for injured prey to gnaw and chew on. I’ve found the best defense for these people, much like in the wilderness or the streets of LA, is to travel in packs. Therefore you can avoid eye contact, and you are not sucked into buying those things you have to have like roller shoes, spermicidal lube, mix cd of kids songs, spermicidal lube, or a fitted hat with your initials and rap name stitched on it, and spermicidal lube. Plus you can always hang up on a telemarketer!

Until Next Time,

Stay Dirty

BPhillips