By: The Mitch

Something occurred to me on Thursday, November 20^th that most people probably have not yet come to realize.  When we hear the name Pac-Man Jones, our ears are failing us.  Apparently, they are saying Cat-Man Jones instead considering he is on life #4 of his 9 NFL lives.

I have respected and really admired Roger Goodell for all of the things that he has done such as suspending players that deserved it, cutting down on river dances, and really seeming to be a no funny-business commish.  I still like the man, but I’ve got to say that I lost a couple ounces of respect for him last Thursday.  Goodell re-instated Adam “Cat-Man” Jones for seemingly the millionth time and fans like myself can’t stop asking themselves: “When will it end?”

Second chances are great.  Nobody is perfect.  But it is obvious that Mr. Make it Rain doesn’t seem to get it.  It is bad enough to be appointed a bodyguard to keep you protected and in line, but then you go and fight the guy? Clearly, he will continue to get special treatment.  One reason I have hypothesized is that the NFL wants and needs Big D in the playoff mix, thus giving Pac-Man an extra life.  It IS America’s team, right?

In conclusion, something needs to be done about characters such as Pac-Man.  Not only him either.  You’ve got Chris Henry and Matt Jones among many other countless players with drug charges or ones that have been in court that are on the turf every Sunday.  Remember Ray Lewis?

There isn’t a job in America that any of these guys wouldn’t be FIRED from other than the NoFunLeague.

Court is Adjourned.

By: Derek “Hotel” Hottell

I am an avid college football fan, and as those who have listened to the show previously can attest, a fairly rabid University of Louisville supporter, so I will admit that I am certainly biased. But, I completely and utterly hate instant replay. While it does enable the referees to correct some missed and/or mistaken calls, instant replay just as often enables officials to over officiate.

A recent example can be taken from the Friday, November 14, 2008, University of Louisville football game against the University of Cincinnati. With under four minutes in the fourth quarter, Louisville trailed by eight points, but they were driving down the field. On third down, Louisville quarterback Hunter Cantwell completed a pass in the flats to running back Brock Bolin who was immediately tackled by a Cincinnati defender. The initial ruling on the field was that the ball had crossed the threshold for the first down when Bolin’s forward progress was stopped. Louisville fans cheered, and hope still existed in Mudville, but then the most dreaded words in football were heard, “Play Under Review.”

When you hear those words, and you are a college football fan, you should just be prepared to be screwed because that is what is going to happen. So, of course, upon further review the play was not ruled a first down, and the officials actually spotted the ball a full yard back, which wasn’t even a possibility, but I digress.

Here is my primary issue with the situation, and what this situation brings to light. Instant replay is a crutch that officials more often than not misuse.

First, what is reviewable and why? If on the same play being reviewed for the spot of the ball, the official sees that the defender actually committed a facemask. Do they call the face mask? Well, of course not because that is judgment. But, isn’t the spot of the ball judgment as well.

Second, the instant replay has changed the way referees call the game. Now, if there is a questionable circumstance between if a quarterback fumbled or threw an incomplete pass, it is always a fumble because they know they can just review it. That doesn’t seem so bad, though, right? Wrong! Because it takes conclusive evidence to overturn the call. What if this evidence isn’t available because of a camera angle or a player blocking the view of the play? They haven’t solved the problem. They have just shifted responsibility from an individual who is paid to ensure the rules of the game are followed to the camera man, a fat guy who probably didn’t play football because he was in the audiovisual club.

Ultimately, instant replay doesn’t aid referees in calling the game. It just acts as an impediment or a crutch. And, as a U of L fan, it seems like it is a crutch that always hits me squarely in the balls.

By: B Phillips

Every year in NCAA Football we kick arond the term “Cinderellas,” or “BCS Busters.”  This is a term reserved for an undfeated, non BCS confernce team that crashes the BCS party.  Hawaii did it last year, Boise St. the year before that, and Utah a few years before them.  However in the history of the BCS we’ve never come close to the possibility of not one, but two glass slippers being sent out to an attractive underdog, with so many ugly stepsisters on the schedule.  Could this be the year?

Most would agree last season was the craziest season thus far under the BCS. It seemed as if no team was truly preared to step up, and lay claim to their right to play for a national championship (W. Virginia, Oklahoma, Oregon, Mizzou,). It was the first time we saw a two-loss team in the championship game, playing a team that most felt didnt belong.  And while even the most well tanned of PAC 10 fans would conceed LSU had one of the most talented teams in the country, did they deserve to be there following a regular season ending loss at home to an unranked team?  Hmmm?  Mizzou beat Kansas, lost in the Big 12 Championship (a game Kansas did not make) however it was Chase Daniel and the Tigers peaking through the window at the Prince’s ball, while the Jayhawks danced about with yet another undeserving ACC winch.  “Ring, Ring.  Hello WAC?  This is the ACC, we are sending you our automatic BCS bid via Fed Ex, and just wanted to provide you with the tracking number.” 

With this in mind let’s return to our fairy tale before the clock strikes midnight, and our carriage turns back into a pumpkin (or a Va Tech QB whichever is worse).  On the heels of last years craziness, the 2008 season will not be outdone.  I am of the opinion (of course my opinion, a turd wrapped in xmas paper, and a quarter combined are worth 25 cents) that the Big 12 and SEC are the two premier conferences this year hands down.  USC is a title contender, Penn St. can control their destiny, and the ACC and Big East should consolidate into one conference and have their two best teams play in a game dubbed “The Shit Bowl” to be played at a high school field in Arkansas at noon on a random Tuesday.  

I see Oklahoma and Mizzou having no more then a loss a piece with one team winning the Big 12 Championship.  The winner of Georgia vs Florida will play the winner of LSU vs Bama in the SEC championship game, the winner of this game heads off to Miami for a National Title game versus the Big 12 winner.  Penn St. and Ohio St. will finish atop the Big Ten, with the winner of that game (probably Ohio St, given Penn St. will lose half their team to the Pennsylvania State Corrections Flag Footbal Team before the game is even played) laying claim to the title and a Rose Bowl bashing at the hands of USC.  The two teams that lose in the Big 12 and SEC Championship games will be top billing for an at large, paving the way for the stars of this Fair Tale to align. Ladies and gentelmen may I introduce your BYU “Cougars” and Boise St. “Fighting Statue of Liberties,” coming in undfeated if they can get past Fresno St. and Utah respectively, and marking 2008 the year of the two headed princess! 

Let me bottom line this for you:
1)Championship game (SEC #1 vs Big 12 #1)
2)Orange Bowl aka “Shit Bowl” (ACC #1 vs Big East #1)
3)Rose Bowl (PAC 10 #1 vs Big Ten #1)
4)Sugar Bowl (Sec #2 vs Cinderella #1)
5)Fiest Bowl (Big 12 #2 vs Cinderella #2)

Now I realize this isn’t the ending we all anticipated, but trust me, a two headed princess is a lot cooler than one in so many ways!!
Until Next Time,

Stay Dirty!

BP

To me waiver priority is like bumper bowling, it is simply an added bonus to assist the less talented in feeling better about themselves, and the world in which they live.  When the reality is everyone else in lanes 1-20 are laughing at you.  The last time I checked we weren’t playing middle school soccer here folks (or really any soccer for that matter).  This is fantasy football, the home of high scores, raw meat, and all the testosterone one man could stand.  We are here to win games, trophies, and end of the year Bar-B-Q, not friends.  I am of the firm opinion that if you have the foresight to jump on a free agent prior to someone else in the league, that FA should be yours.  Why should fantasy lightweights be rewarded for their laziness and mediocrity?  Essentially if you hold the top waiver spot for a given week you can sit on your toosh, pay your league no attention, then pick up FA’s based on what you read on somestupidfantasysite.com the next morning.  This is complete anarchy, and indefensible! I mean what is next a fantasy salary cap?  So I challenge you do the right thing and eliminate wavier priority, the integrity of your league depends on it!

Until Next Time Stay Dirty!

BPhillips