By: The Mitch

At nearly 18, I have eaten, slept, and breathed the game of football, especially the National Football League, my entire life.  I am a die-hard and season ticket holder of the Indianapolis Colts.  That little bit of background information is necessary to show what a bold statement could potentially be made next NFL season under certain circumstances.

On Paydirt Sports Talk Radio, I made this ridiculous statement, “If Kerry Collins wins the MVP, I will boycott the entire 2009 NFL season.”  Don’t believe me? Check the archives at www.paydirtsportstalk.com and listen to the November 12^th edition.  Yeah, I said it.

That statement may sound like a bluff that a frustrated fan may have just thrown out to make a point.  Honestly, I didn’t know myself at first.  But now its Wednesday the 19^th, a week later, and I stand firm behind my statement.  It isn’t me being bitter at the Titans for their undefeated run.  I’m not saying this because they are in the AFC South along with the Colts.  I also have nothing personal against Mr. Collins.  I do however; have plenty of support to back up my case.

I have always hated sports writers that use bullets in their stories, but I feel that is the best way to do it in this case, and no other time, so HATE ME! Here are some great reasons why the “leading sports networks” such as ESPN and Fox Sports journalists, talk show hosts and commentators that feed the Collins MVP idea are full of crap up to their eyeballs.

• Kerry Collins’ stats simply aren’t good for a starter.  Compare him to the top signal-callers in the league right now, and his stats simply aren’t even close.  I averaged the top 5 leaders in passing yards, and came up with 2,903.4 yards.  Compare that to Collins? 1,755 yards.  A whopping 1,148.4 yards less than the best in the league.  The top 5 in passing Tds average 19 this season.  Collins? 8! Half as many as the leagues best! Some would make the argument that Qbs such as Kurt Warner have attempted 100 more passes than KC.  That may be true, but Warner’s completion percentage is 11.9% HIGHER than Collins!
   
• Under this bullet, I have a 3-for-1 for you (in my candidate order):

Stats are through 10 games

3. Adrian Peterson, RB, Vikings - 1,100yds, 7 TD’s              

2. Clinton Portis, RB Redskins – 1,063yds, 7 TD’s            

1. Kurt Warner, QB Cardinals -3,155yds, 20 TD’s

Lets Compare:  Kerry Collins - 1,755yds,  8 TD’s
  
Getting Clearer for you?

• The definition of MVP is Most Valuable Player.  Most valuable to what, you ask? The most valuable to their team.  In what was has Kerry Collins been that? If any person from the Titans roster should be MVP, it would be the Chris Johnson/LenDale White duo or the whole defense (hypothetically).  The argument that I get most of the time is that ‘They are undefeated’.  Fair enough, but there aren’t many quarterbacks at the NFL skill level that you couldn’t throw into KC’s position that wouldn’t be putting up the same numbers he has (or better).  His main task is to hold ship, don’t make stupid mistakes, and let the defense and running game win it for you.  He has done very well at that, and Rex Grossman couldn’t do it.  But many QBs right now do essentially the same thing.  A la Chad Pennington.  A la Joe Flacco.  A la Jason Campbell.  Each team better than last year and in playoff contention.  MVP worthy, though? NO!
• Let’s take a look now at my candidates listed above and try to prove their worth:

Adrian Peterson:  The Vikings probably won’t make the playoffs, so that hurts his chances, but through 9 games, he was the only 1,000-yard-rusher in the NFL.  He has been the most dominant running back all season, and only he and Portis average 4.9 a carry.

Clinton Portis:  IN an offense with Campbell as his QB, and an average receiving corps, Portis has become the staple in this offense with over 1,000 yards and 7 TDs already.

Kurt Warner:  Warner went from the best-show-on-turf to getting pushed out of New York by Eli to a backup to Matt ‘Party Boy’ Leinart.  Now he is the leader of what will most likely be the first Arizona Cardinal team to clinch the playoffs for the first time in 10 years.  Not to mention putting up the best stats in the league in most categories, including 4 straight 300-yard performances.

These three guys are the faces of their respective teams, where as Kerry Collins is not.  They are the leaders of their teams where as Collins is not either.  He is an okay QB, don’t get me wrong.  But this MVP talk is just absurd! KC wouldn’t win MVP in a Bowling Green Pee-Wee League with these numbers! The MVP is someone with outstanding and irreplaceable value to his team.  Not a fairly easy task that even Binno could fill. 

Whether you agree that my points are valid or not, I’m sure that you think I’m insane for willing to give up what is basically my life.  I’ll tell you why I’m willing to do that, and why I’m taking this chance.  If Kerry Collins wins the MVP, the NFL is a joke.  If this happens, then the game I love has a serious flaw that would be nearly irreparable.

I would boycott the NFL to make a statement.  Would they miss 1 lousy fan? Of course not! That is beside the point.  The reasoning behind it is to send a message that would hopefully make its way around, all the way to Mr. Roger Goodell’s desk.

 I’m not crazy.  Somebody has got to do it.  If this in fact comes true, I will take this one for the team.             

- THE MITCH

To me waiver priority is like bumper bowling, it is simply an added bonus to assist the less talented in feeling better about themselves, and the world in which they live.  When the reality is everyone else in lanes 1-20 are laughing at you.  The last time I checked we weren’t playing middle school soccer here folks (or really any soccer for that matter).  This is fantasy football, the home of high scores, raw meat, and all the testosterone one man could stand.  We are here to win games, trophies, and end of the year Bar-B-Q, not friends.  I am of the firm opinion that if you have the foresight to jump on a free agent prior to someone else in the league, that FA should be yours.  Why should fantasy lightweights be rewarded for their laziness and mediocrity?  Essentially if you hold the top waiver spot for a given week you can sit on your toosh, pay your league no attention, then pick up FA’s based on what you read on somestupidfantasysite.com the next morning.  This is complete anarchy, and indefensible! I mean what is next a fantasy salary cap?  So I challenge you do the right thing and eliminate wavier priority, the integrity of your league depends on it!

Until Next Time Stay Dirty!

BPhillips

By: B Phillips

What is worse telemarketers or “Middle of the Mall,” people? I say “Middle of the Mall,” people for they can actually seek you out, like a wild lion looking for injured prey to gnaw and chew on. I’ve found the best defense for these people, much like in the wilderness or the streets of LA, is to travel in packs. Therefore you can avoid eye contact, and you are not sucked into buying those things you have to have like roller shoes, spermicidal lube, mix cd of kids songs, spermicidal lube, or a fitted hat with your initials and rap name stitched on it, and spermicidal lube. Plus you can always hang up on a telemarketer!

Until Next Time,

Stay Dirty

BPhillips