By: The Mitch

At nearly 18, I have eaten, slept, and breathed the game of football, especially the National Football League, my entire life.  I am a die-hard and season ticket holder of the Indianapolis Colts.  That little bit of background information is necessary to show what a bold statement could potentially be made next NFL season under certain circumstances.

On Paydirt Sports Talk Radio, I made this ridiculous statement, “If Kerry Collins wins the MVP, I will boycott the entire 2009 NFL season.”  Don’t believe me? Check the archives at www.paydirtsportstalk.com and listen to the November 12^th edition.  Yeah, I said it.

That statement may sound like a bluff that a frustrated fan may have just thrown out to make a point.  Honestly, I didn’t know myself at first.  But now its Wednesday the 19^th, a week later, and I stand firm behind my statement.  It isn’t me being bitter at the Titans for their undefeated run.  I’m not saying this because they are in the AFC South along with the Colts.  I also have nothing personal against Mr. Collins.  I do however; have plenty of support to back up my case.

I have always hated sports writers that use bullets in their stories, but I feel that is the best way to do it in this case, and no other time, so HATE ME! Here are some great reasons why the “leading sports networks” such as ESPN and Fox Sports journalists, talk show hosts and commentators that feed the Collins MVP idea are full of crap up to their eyeballs.

• Kerry Collins’ stats simply aren’t good for a starter.  Compare him to the top signal-callers in the league right now, and his stats simply aren’t even close.  I averaged the top 5 leaders in passing yards, and came up with 2,903.4 yards.  Compare that to Collins? 1,755 yards.  A whopping 1,148.4 yards less than the best in the league.  The top 5 in passing Tds average 19 this season.  Collins? 8! Half as many as the leagues best! Some would make the argument that Qbs such as Kurt Warner have attempted 100 more passes than KC.  That may be true, but Warner’s completion percentage is 11.9% HIGHER than Collins!
   
• Under this bullet, I have a 3-for-1 for you (in my candidate order):

Stats are through 10 games

3. Adrian Peterson, RB, Vikings - 1,100yds, 7 TD’s              

2. Clinton Portis, RB Redskins – 1,063yds, 7 TD’s            

1. Kurt Warner, QB Cardinals -3,155yds, 20 TD’s

Lets Compare:  Kerry Collins - 1,755yds,  8 TD’s
  
Getting Clearer for you?

• The definition of MVP is Most Valuable Player.  Most valuable to what, you ask? The most valuable to their team.  In what was has Kerry Collins been that? If any person from the Titans roster should be MVP, it would be the Chris Johnson/LenDale White duo or the whole defense (hypothetically).  The argument that I get most of the time is that ‘They are undefeated’.  Fair enough, but there aren’t many quarterbacks at the NFL skill level that you couldn’t throw into KC’s position that wouldn’t be putting up the same numbers he has (or better).  His main task is to hold ship, don’t make stupid mistakes, and let the defense and running game win it for you.  He has done very well at that, and Rex Grossman couldn’t do it.  But many QBs right now do essentially the same thing.  A la Chad Pennington.  A la Joe Flacco.  A la Jason Campbell.  Each team better than last year and in playoff contention.  MVP worthy, though? NO!
• Let’s take a look now at my candidates listed above and try to prove their worth:

Adrian Peterson:  The Vikings probably won’t make the playoffs, so that hurts his chances, but through 9 games, he was the only 1,000-yard-rusher in the NFL.  He has been the most dominant running back all season, and only he and Portis average 4.9 a carry.

Clinton Portis:  IN an offense with Campbell as his QB, and an average receiving corps, Portis has become the staple in this offense with over 1,000 yards and 7 TDs already.

Kurt Warner:  Warner went from the best-show-on-turf to getting pushed out of New York by Eli to a backup to Matt ‘Party Boy’ Leinart.  Now he is the leader of what will most likely be the first Arizona Cardinal team to clinch the playoffs for the first time in 10 years.  Not to mention putting up the best stats in the league in most categories, including 4 straight 300-yard performances.

These three guys are the faces of their respective teams, where as Kerry Collins is not.  They are the leaders of their teams where as Collins is not either.  He is an okay QB, don’t get me wrong.  But this MVP talk is just absurd! KC wouldn’t win MVP in a Bowling Green Pee-Wee League with these numbers! The MVP is someone with outstanding and irreplaceable value to his team.  Not a fairly easy task that even Binno could fill. 

Whether you agree that my points are valid or not, I’m sure that you think I’m insane for willing to give up what is basically my life.  I’ll tell you why I’m willing to do that, and why I’m taking this chance.  If Kerry Collins wins the MVP, the NFL is a joke.  If this happens, then the game I love has a serious flaw that would be nearly irreparable.

I would boycott the NFL to make a statement.  Would they miss 1 lousy fan? Of course not! That is beside the point.  The reasoning behind it is to send a message that would hopefully make its way around, all the way to Mr. Roger Goodell’s desk.

 I’m not crazy.  Somebody has got to do it.  If this in fact comes true, I will take this one for the team.             

- THE MITCH

By: B Phillips

Every year in NCAA Football we kick arond the term “Cinderellas,” or “BCS Busters.”  This is a term reserved for an undfeated, non BCS confernce team that crashes the BCS party.  Hawaii did it last year, Boise St. the year before that, and Utah a few years before them.  However in the history of the BCS we’ve never come close to the possibility of not one, but two glass slippers being sent out to an attractive underdog, with so many ugly stepsisters on the schedule.  Could this be the year?

Most would agree last season was the craziest season thus far under the BCS. It seemed as if no team was truly preared to step up, and lay claim to their right to play for a national championship (W. Virginia, Oklahoma, Oregon, Mizzou,). It was the first time we saw a two-loss team in the championship game, playing a team that most felt didnt belong.  And while even the most well tanned of PAC 10 fans would conceed LSU had one of the most talented teams in the country, did they deserve to be there following a regular season ending loss at home to an unranked team?  Hmmm?  Mizzou beat Kansas, lost in the Big 12 Championship (a game Kansas did not make) however it was Chase Daniel and the Tigers peaking through the window at the Prince’s ball, while the Jayhawks danced about with yet another undeserving ACC winch.  “Ring, Ring.  Hello WAC?  This is the ACC, we are sending you our automatic BCS bid via Fed Ex, and just wanted to provide you with the tracking number.” 

With this in mind let’s return to our fairy tale before the clock strikes midnight, and our carriage turns back into a pumpkin (or a Va Tech QB whichever is worse).  On the heels of last years craziness, the 2008 season will not be outdone.  I am of the opinion (of course my opinion, a turd wrapped in xmas paper, and a quarter combined are worth 25 cents) that the Big 12 and SEC are the two premier conferences this year hands down.  USC is a title contender, Penn St. can control their destiny, and the ACC and Big East should consolidate into one conference and have their two best teams play in a game dubbed “The Shit Bowl” to be played at a high school field in Arkansas at noon on a random Tuesday.  

I see Oklahoma and Mizzou having no more then a loss a piece with one team winning the Big 12 Championship.  The winner of Georgia vs Florida will play the winner of LSU vs Bama in the SEC championship game, the winner of this game heads off to Miami for a National Title game versus the Big 12 winner.  Penn St. and Ohio St. will finish atop the Big Ten, with the winner of that game (probably Ohio St, given Penn St. will lose half their team to the Pennsylvania State Corrections Flag Footbal Team before the game is even played) laying claim to the title and a Rose Bowl bashing at the hands of USC.  The two teams that lose in the Big 12 and SEC Championship games will be top billing for an at large, paving the way for the stars of this Fair Tale to align. Ladies and gentelmen may I introduce your BYU “Cougars” and Boise St. “Fighting Statue of Liberties,” coming in undfeated if they can get past Fresno St. and Utah respectively, and marking 2008 the year of the two headed princess! 

Let me bottom line this for you:
1)Championship game (SEC #1 vs Big 12 #1)
2)Orange Bowl aka “Shit Bowl” (ACC #1 vs Big East #1)
3)Rose Bowl (PAC 10 #1 vs Big Ten #1)
4)Sugar Bowl (Sec #2 vs Cinderella #1)
5)Fiest Bowl (Big 12 #2 vs Cinderella #2)

Now I realize this isn’t the ending we all anticipated, but trust me, a two headed princess is a lot cooler than one in so many ways!!
Until Next Time,

Stay Dirty!

BP

By: B Phillips

As a long time Colts fan that can remember the days of an empty RCA Dome, a starting QB named Jeff George, and a dropped Hail-Mary in the1995 AFC Champion game, it’s hard to find much to be picky about these days.

The Super Bowl Victory over the Bears following the 2006 NFL season was a long time coming, and in many ways an end to a journey that began years ago following a late night truck ride from Baltimore to Indianapolis. The Irony behind the victory on that rainy night in Miami is that most ‘true-blue’ Colts Fans probably weren’t dancing in the streets and celebrating their firm grasp of the elusive Lombardi trophy, but rather, like myself, sat isolated in their homes taking deep, deep sighs of relief (up and until the parade of course), and thinking “Finally!” You see with success comes expectations, and even most Jaguar Fans would have to admit the Colts have been an extremely successful franchise since Peyton Manning’s arrival in Indianapolis following the1997 draft.

Since then the Colts have only missed the playoffs twice (once in his rookie year 3-13), and are 63-17 since 2003 reeling off five straight seasons of 12 wins or more, a rarity in today’s NFL. But as the Colts continued to put tally’s in the ‘W’ column, and Peyton and the Colts high powered offense were putting points on the scoreboard, Colt’s critics (and there were plenty) kept reminding Colt’s Fans, “What have you done in the Playoffs,” and labeled the team as “soft.” Progressing a once lonely NFL franchise in a small market, (who’s previous success and history was left behind in Baltimore), to one of the dominant teams in the NFL was no longer an accomplishment. With success comes expectations.

You could almost see it coming like a small snowball, which rolls down a hill, picking up steam, before finally becoming a thundering avalanche tearing through a small village. When will the Colts make the playoffs? When will the Colts win a playoff game? When will the Colts beat the Patriots and make it to a Super Bowl? Not to mention the constant harassment from fans of opposing teams in our division (Ten and Jax most notably) constantly reminding Colts fans how ‘Overrated,’ we were. Can you imagine the legacy left on the table if all of the turn around and all of the hype during Peyton’s tenure came to an end without a Super Bowl win? Not just an appearance (which in 1995 would have been unimaginable and welcome) but a win?

Thankfully much like the Cuban Missile Crisis before it, all of this was avoided at the conclusion of Super XLI in Miami when the scoreboard read, Colts 29 Bears 17. Our time had come, if only for one night our critics would be silenced, and our Colts were the World Champions. No doubt an exciting time for a Colts fan, but instead of dancing in the streets and pointing fingers towards Nashville and Jacksonville, I sat in my rocking chair like a man 40 years my elder, looked at my wife and said, finally!

To me waiver priority is like bumper bowling, it is simply an added bonus to assist the less talented in feeling better about themselves, and the world in which they live.  When the reality is everyone else in lanes 1-20 are laughing at you.  The last time I checked we weren’t playing middle school soccer here folks (or really any soccer for that matter).  This is fantasy football, the home of high scores, raw meat, and all the testosterone one man could stand.  We are here to win games, trophies, and end of the year Bar-B-Q, not friends.  I am of the firm opinion that if you have the foresight to jump on a free agent prior to someone else in the league, that FA should be yours.  Why should fantasy lightweights be rewarded for their laziness and mediocrity?  Essentially if you hold the top waiver spot for a given week you can sit on your toosh, pay your league no attention, then pick up FA’s based on what you read on somestupidfantasysite.com the next morning.  This is complete anarchy, and indefensible! I mean what is next a fantasy salary cap?  So I challenge you do the right thing and eliminate wavier priority, the integrity of your league depends on it!

Until Next Time Stay Dirty!

BPhillips

By: B Phillips

What is worse telemarketers or “Middle of the Mall,” people? I say “Middle of the Mall,” people for they can actually seek you out, like a wild lion looking for injured prey to gnaw and chew on. I’ve found the best defense for these people, much like in the wilderness or the streets of LA, is to travel in packs. Therefore you can avoid eye contact, and you are not sucked into buying those things you have to have like roller shoes, spermicidal lube, mix cd of kids songs, spermicidal lube, or a fitted hat with your initials and rap name stitched on it, and spermicidal lube. Plus you can always hang up on a telemarketer!

Until Next Time,

Stay Dirty

BPhillips